|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
If you have any Top Ten lists, send me them and I'll put them up. I'll be putting up more of mine too as soon as they're done. Unless specified, these were all done by me.
10. They want to be cool like Woody Allen.
9. Armon finds it impossible to wrap presents.
8. Their first encounter with Christmas was the Bryan Adams music video "Reggae Christmas".
7. They've gotten brainwashed by all the commercialism and decide to celebrate Hannukah and get presents for eight nights.
6. Rath didn't think about a way to transport the Christmas tree when he designed the Hot-Ra.
5. The magic box replaced their show with cutsey Christmas specials.
4. ...then ran the exact same specials three or ten times a day, every single day...
3. Ja-Kal doesn't want Santa Claus to discover their secret hideout.
2. "Frosty the snowman" is a concept even San Francisco native Presley can't explain.
1. Two words: Christmas letters
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT KISS ARE MUMMIES ALIVE FANS
10. They ditched the black and white face paint and now use gray.
9. KISS sportscar is replaced with a Hot-Ra replica and the KISSettes dress like a certain enchantress we all know and hate. (But Gene Simmons must adore her!!!!)
8. The KISS Beanie Babies come with a bonus Khatie Beanie.
7. Eric Singer, Bruce Kulick, Vinnie Vincent, and Mark St. John start a new band called "The Forgotten Warriors" (Not all famous people are anit-Internet!)
6. They encore with the Mummies Alive song parodies, whether the fans want it or not! ("**** the fans. **** the music. **** the profits. It all starts with the mummies." Gotta love Gene...)
5. "Beth" is now "Nef"
4. The current members (the original lineup) crawled to Vinnie Vincent on their hands and knees and begged him to return so they can have the Egyptian Warrior.
3. Their website has the SOMA snippett on it. Don't belive me? Go see!!!!!! Ha ha! Made ya look!
2. They personally promised the president of DiC that they would donate all the proceeds of the Psycho Circus tour towards a second season of Mummies Alive.
1. Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley converted religion so they can read the December issue of The Phoenix Gate without feeling left out.
TOP TEN REJECTED PROPOSALS FOR A SECOND SEASON OF MUMMIES ALIVE
10. Special guest appearence by the Spice Girls.
9. Hot-Ra replaced with the Great Tractor of Osiris.
8. First new episode titled "The Defeat of Scarab"
7. George Thorogood and Busta Rhymes to write the new theme song and musical score together.
6. Gem of the Deep to be made into a single thirty-minute episode, altered just enough so DiC doesn't have to pay anyone.
5. The evil 3500-year old sorceror to be reborn into a 35-day old butterfly.
4. DiC and 20th Century Fox to merge and bring us a relaunch: Mummies Alive in Springfield.
3. Presley escapes the phony, touchy-feely, shmoozy vibe of the West Coast and sets out for the real life of the East!
2. Heka's solo adventures.
1. All animation (and writing too) to be done by Gary Larson. (Yes, even he's an MA fan!!!!!!)
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT MUMMIES ALIVE IS CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN'S MINDS!
10. The Offspring's song 'Americana' is used as the theme song.
9. Rath's voice is secretly done by Marilyn Manson.
8. The show's sound effects machine broke down because the 'beep' was used too much.
7. Scarab's message in 'Sleight Of Hand' is full of swear words in hieroglyphics.
6. The mummies' blues song contains satanic messages when played backwards.
5. Nefer-tina holds the record for the number of times on the cover of Playboy.
4. The show's writers are the same ones who wrote the 'Starship Troopers' script.
3. The 'Family Feud' video comes in a boxed set with 'Jerry Springer: Uncensored'.
2. An Internet search for "Mummies Alive" gives you the Ku Klux Klan's website as the first result.
1. Chontra makes a cameo appearance in every single episode.
TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR MOMMY IS A MUMMY suggested by Kala, written by Randi Radio
10. The family budget allows more money for toilet paper than it does for food, and more rolls are kept in your mommy's bedroom than in the bathroom.
9. The only hard music you're allowed to bring in the house is Egypt.
8. Her #1 celebrity crushes are Ramses in The Mummy and Vinnie Vincent (Yikes! @~_^@).
7. She was kicked out of the museam for continally correcting the tour guide of the Egyptian exhibit.
6. Saying grace involves a huge statue of the sun god and a chant in an unidentifable language.
5. Her high school yearbook is a stone tablet.
4. Whenever you tease the cat, she warns you that Bastet will punish you.
3. She keeps grousing about how kids today have it so easy, while when she was a kid they didn't have an alphabet.
2. Your daddy left with the his final words being, "I can't live with someone who never acts alive!"
1. She can't sit through an episode of Mummies Alive without pointing out at least twenty inaccuracies.
TOP TEN WAY TO TORTURE MUMMIES ALIVE CHARACTERS by Nyx
Is one of the mummies bothering you?Do you feel that if you see Tia's,Chontra's,or Pep's ugly faces one more time you'll scream??well fear no more!For I have written many a way to torture these people! Here they are:
10.Make Ja-Kal watch Dr. Dolittle and tell him that he cannot say a thing during the entire movie.
9.Make Rath got to a football game and dress up as a cheerleader and go along with the squad(I know your thinking WHY rath,but since I heard people complaining,ya gotta give the public what they want;))
8.Make Pep take a lesson in Proper Etiquitte.
7.Tie Armon to a chair and leave a hot burger RIGHT in front of him where he cannot reach it.
6.Make Nefer-tina take sewing lessons.
5.Make Scarab watch Barney (I wonder if he'll try to hug Heka????)
4.Have Ja-kal make a list of his animal story's and tell them to Presley
3.Make Tia listen to the Passover story.
2.Make Heka watch Barney with Scarab.
1.Make Chontra stare at her reflection in a full length mirror(YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
TOP TEN WORST CROSSOVERS STARRING MUMMIES ALIVE CHARACTERS by Nyx
10. "Driving Ms Daisy"starring Nefer-tina
9."Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"starring Anubis
8."Little Women"starring Armon
7."Pretty Woman"starring Chontra(blaaaacchhhh)
6."A Thousand aAcres"starring Geb
5."American Confetti"starring Scarab
4."The Taming of the Shrew"starring Heka
3."Can't Hardly Wait'' starring Ja-kal
2."20 days in the Desert"starring Nuhn
1."The BodyGuard''starring Rath
TOP TEN REASONS WHY (BRILLIANT AS HE IS) RATH WOULDN'T MAKE IT IN THE IVY LEAUGE by Nyx
10.His hat isn't part of the dress code.
9.Nor are his bandages.
8.He'd have a fit when he found out Egypt-su is'nt an extracurriculer activity.
7.The Hot-ra can't fit in a parking space.
6.And where is he going to put the Nilelater?
5.The Med students would want to study him.
4.The girls would want to study him even more
3.There would be enough room in a class that scarab could fit some shabtis in.
2.The football team would try to invade his dorm.
And the number one reason that Rath could'nt get in is
1.Try saying "WITH THE STRENGH OF RA " in the middle of chemsty 101.
TOP TEN REAL REASONS MUMMIES ALIVE WENT OFF THE AIR
10. "Concerned parents" boycotted it over Chontra's outfit.
9. DiC was hoping to cash in on a Seinfield-like finalie.
8. Face In The Mirror and Monster Truck Mania contains immature toilet humor.
7. Those overly sensitive people at DiC took the Two-minuites Hate as a personal insult.
6. YTV just couldn't handle all the calls demanding to know when Forgotten Warriors was premiering.
5. Egyptians around the world formed a union that made it clear that the show "depicts their ancient footwear as unconfortable, ridiculous, and dangerous." (Have you really taken a look at what Rath and Ja-Kal and Armon wear? What are those, steel toed sandals?!)
4. James Cameroon bribed the networks so girls would forget Rath and get back to Leonardo DiCaprio.
3. Students across the country were rapidly dropping out of chess club to concentrate on their mythology studies.
2. Before I could tell them that I was only joking about SOMA, the rumours had spread too far.
1. MA's second season contract accidently(?) got switched with The Oddesy's cancellation plea.
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT STAR WARS IS INFLUENCED BY MUMMIES ALIVE
10. Tatooine's igloos are replaced with pyramids.
9. Rebel pilots psych each other up before big battles by saying "Let's kick some Imperial Tut!"
8. Emperor Palpatine carries around a golden flame-spewing serpant.
7. Stormtroopers crumble into a pile of white stone when shot.
6. Yoda's voice was dubbed by Cree Summers.
5. When Admiral Piett sees Vader's helmet being lowered on his head, he also hears Vader mutter "With the strength of Ra"
4. The starry sky seen behind X-wings and TIE fighters changed to swirling anime-style backgrounds.
3. Princess Leia suddenly grew nine inches taller.
2. Before his training is complete, Luke must learn the ancient art of Jediegypt-su.
1. The Star Wars Insider changed to The Phoenix Gate.
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT MUMMIES ALIVE IS INFLUENCED BY STAR WARS
10. The mummies yell "With the power of the Force" to transform.
9. The final words Prince Rapses hears are "And now, young pharoah, you will die!"
8. Raw replaced by John Williams
7. The horns on Armon's helmet are really cinnamon buns.
6. In Loss Of Face Nefer-tina says "When thirty-five hundred years old YOU reach, look as good you will not!"
5. The mummies recharge in carbon freeze.
4. Just picture it-Nefer-tina and Ja-Kal discover that they're brother and sister and Scarab is their father!
3. Worhtless shabties replaced with good ol' relaible Ewoks!
2. Goodbye Mr. Cheops ends with Chontra chained to a fat slimy slug who then throws her to the rancor.
1. Whenever the mummies try to make faces-they always turn into James Earl Jones!
TOP TEN SIGNS I'M OBSESSED WITH RATH
NOTE: This isn't true (obviously! @~_^@)
10. For some odd reason, my YMs have been appearing on my bed, open to the Love-Lust-Obsession pages, with the "Obsession" paragraphs circled in bright red pen.
9. The guy who is desperatly in love with me has suddenly started wrapping himself in toilet paper, speaking with an accent, quit eating, joined the mechanics club, and is constantly seen arguing with the captain of the football team. (Well, forget it! I want the genuine article, no less! @~_^@)
8. When Obi-Wan Kenobi visits me in my dreams, instead of telling me that a Jedi must learn to control her temper, he tells me that a Jedi must learn to control her crushes.
7. ...and the reason Obi-Wan is teaching me is cuz I turned to the Light Side so I can be obsessed with a good guy without feeling guilty!
6. In Twist's Friend2Friend advice coloumn, someone wrote a letter begging for help because a friend was in love with a cartoon mummy-and it was signed by not one but seven people with strangely familiar names...
5. Every time I finish watching a Mummies Alive episode starring Rath, I get off the couch with an odd feeling that througout the episode, someone was shaking and slapping me while yelling "Get a hold of yourself, girl!"
4. On more than one occasion I've overheard my mother sobbing on the phone "I've tried everything...I've even had her meet Leonardo DiCaprio...nothing works!"
3. Rath himself spoke to me in my dreams, trying to tell me that it's unhealthy to be in love with a cartoon character, and what did I do? I attached myself to his leg and said that I knew that he cared.(And Rath hit himself and said a word I'm not allowed to repeat @^_^@)
2. ...the next morning, my family had to use the Jaws Of Life to pry me off my Rath action figure and told me that I was yelling "Rathie, I knew you really loved me and not Chontra!" all night long.
1. I wrote this list at the back of my notebook, and I'd die if anyone found out! (This is true @^_^@)
6 WAYS TO BE LIKE JA-KAL (Guys only) by Sekhmet
6)) THE LOOKS: Wrap your self up in linen bandages and put on your sister's blue kilt dress or buy one from the store. Or if you do not have these things wrap yourself up in tissue papper and wear a blue dress. Strap a bandage over your nose, wrap up your hair and voila! Also might help if you'd get a power amulet from Amenhotepe it would come in handy if you attempt to yell with the streangth of RA
5)ARISE!: Be killed by Scarab and then later arise from your tomb when Rapses is in danger!
4)BE COURAGES: Next if you see prince Rapses in danger shout protect the prince to the others, and make sure you save the prince from any Geb's trying to kill Rapses with a fist or prevent him from falling.
3)SILENT TYPE: Be the quiet one, Armon, Rath and Nefertina are the ones who argue not you! You are the nuetrual one. You don't talk much, but only when it comes to protecting the prince!
2) NATURAL BORN LEADER: Your the one in charge! Live a little well not exactly. It's up to you to keep the team in shape rember your the one with all the advice
1) DOCTOR DOLITTLE: Make sure you also have some advice about animal stuff Ex:Even the hungry lion retreats when the pack off huntng dogs is too large. See page 599 for details!
TOP TEN CROSSOVERS WE HOPE WILL NEVER HAPPEN!
10. Mummies Alive meets the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers
9. Mummies Alive meets As Good As It Gets (not that I didn't like that movie, but REALLY! @^_^@)
8. Mummies Alive meets Starship Troopers (Would you like to know MORE?)
7. Mummies Alive meets the Postman (declared Worst Of '97)
6. Mummies Alive meets 1984 (but hey, it's the perfect excuse to get Nefy and Ja-Kal together!)
5. Mummies Alive meets Dumb and Dumber
4. Mummies Alive meets In and Out
3. Mummies Alive meets Spice World
2. Mummies Alive meets Hanson (CALM DOWN! THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO PANIC!)
1. Mummies Alive meets the Teletubbies (Okay...now panic!)
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOUR HATRED FOR CHONTRA IS PUSHING YOU OVER THE DEEP EDGE!
10. You start each new day by throwing a dart at your Chontra poster.
9. You used to say "I could spit whenever I see Chontra's ugly face"
but now it's changed to "I do spit whenever I see Chontra's ugly face."
8. You spend more time staring at a picture of Chontra and concentrating
on how much you hate her than you do hitting the books.
7. Your blood vessels are bulging just from reading this list.
6. It takes you two tries to say her name, and when you finally do you immedeatly
down a whole bottle of mouthwash to get the bad taste out of your mouth.
5. You beg Kenner to relase a Chontra action figure-so you can have the
pleasure of melting it in the microwave.
4. The temporal loss of faith in Rath when he says he was falling in love
with Chontra is now permenent. (Don't go there!)
3. Someone starts to introduce herself as Ch- and, without giving her a
chance to finish, scream "DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!" and brutally
attack her, even when her name could've been Chantel or Cher or other. (What
kind of name is Chontra anyway?!)
2. Your friends are so tramautized they don't even dare to wear pink.
1. You've sworn on the Bible, the Force, all the Egyptian dieties, your
precious action figure collection, and all other things sacred that you'll
never (gasp!) support a second season of Mummies Alive unless they kill
off Chontra.
Back to top!